The last message is no from me - obviously as you know i like boobies too much for it to be from me!!
I was very dissappointed to hear that the heather gor a tonking 9-2 actually it made me laugh alot and no doubt will make the rest of my team mates laugh when they are informed.
Maybe you lot should not have been so quick to say no when i wanted to sign, i may not be the fittist due to my knee however i have never lost 9-2 in my life and no doubt if i was at the back for you on Sunday you would not have lost by that many. Maybe you lot were to busy messing around and need someone with a bit more knowledge at the back.
Ha ha - i look forward to our meeting in the league!!!!
I note that you say you like boobies too Much - is that why you have grown a huge pair???
Yeh you were that good! Winning a div 3 hayward sunday league match is such an fantastic acheivement, i'll be very suprised if scouts from Chelsea dont come knocking.
Also check your spelling Moron - its a joke, shite at football, shite at english, what are you good at????
tank Son of son of son of son of God member is offline
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Re: loco? « Result #3 on Dec 13, 2008, 7:32pm »
if we were "that good", and i suspect a hint of sarcasm in your post, for winning a Sunday league match, then, good god how bad were you for loosing a sunday div3 match. you complete tosser, go away and think carefully before you say things.
Yeh you were that good! Winning a div 3 hayward sunday league match is such an fantastic acheivement, i'll be very suprised if scouts from Chelsea dont come knocking.
What a close game sunday was,loco proved to be a stern test................................naaaaattt! After all there talk they were actually really rubbish to be honest.Possibly the worst central midfield were likely to play againast all season and as for there "super" striker,did he even play? I cant believe they even thought they had a chance with those so called players. As for the leg breaking threats i found it highly amusing that actually it was two of their players that went of with injuries. It could of been double figures especially if luke would spend less time banging frree kicks in and more timr practicing penalties!!!
Player Profiles « Result #6 on Oct 15, 2008, 9:30am »
Martin (HANDS) Smith………. SCHMICHAEL ESQ. Safe Hands. Has come through the Luke Ayrton Acadamy of Excellence. Kicks like a mule on steroids.
Hugo (THE MONK) White………. GROBELAAR ESQ. Absolutely Mental. Were even to scared to comment on this one, he could kill us.
Jamie (NO LEFT FOOT) Yeo………. DENNIS IRWIN ESQ. Is 100% committed to the Heather, and been at the club since Medieval Times. Adores downsydrome babes from Weymouth.
Craig (TANK) Marchant………. NEMANJA VIDIC ESQ. A no nonesence centre-half who loves a big tackle and a header. Is sorely missed when executing terrorists in Iraq. Has a sister who I think its pretty safe to say has swapped saliver with most of the team. Shes great!
John (BAKED BEAN HEAD) Austin………. SENDEROS ESQ. Hardest man in Ferndown. Good in the air, we just wish he was as good on the deck as he is at gambling. Loves a beer and sometimes been known to bang hookers.
Matt (DIRTY SPAINISH WAITER) Farley………. WARREN BARTON ESQ. Matts dad is the teams tatical coach hence Matts role in the starting line-up. Matt Broke his nose this season, but do you think that stops him snorting crack off a dirty skanks butt cheeks? Nahhhh….. Good ping on him though.
Mike ‘PIN-UP, CUNNIE’ Constable………. JAMIE CARRAGHER ESQ. Commanding Centre-half (standing at 5ft 2!!) who can equally adapt to full back. Will organize any defence and keep spirts high on and off the pitch. A vital part of any team, but will constantly give the boss a headache! Sorry to disappoint you girls, this ones got a hot girlfriend!
Jim ‘BAKED BEAN HEAD 2’ Legg………. JEAN-ALAIN BOUMSONG ESQ. Huge ass. Danny Moores’ dad swears he wears a nappy. Good in the air (But so would anyone standing at ‘6ft 11’) Likes the sound of his own voice, but extraordinarly good on a night out. Good facial hair.
Luke ‘THE REAL DEAL’ Ayrton……….GATTUSO ESQ. Hates losing, hard Tackling midfielder who loves to give the attackers a defence-splitting pass or two, has a non-stop engine whos the heart of the Heather. No doubt the most annoying high pitched voice in any of the Bournemouth leagues.Has his own School of excellence programme too. Never leave your girlfriend with him…. Dangerous.
Danny ‘ONE-WAY’ Moore………. MATT LE TISSIER ESQ. Untouchable in the oppostions half. Non-Existant in our own. Jesus has blessed this boy with his left foot. Recently a daddy, they’ve been swapping clothes since.
Ashley ‘ASHRAB’ Boyt………. ZIDANE ESQ (But Quicker and with more hair) Straight out of Galatasarys’ acadamy. Superb techniqual ability with two great feet and certainly an eye for goal. Shame he cant put a condom on though!! Perry ’TEN TOUCH’ Fry………. RAY PARLOUR ESQ. More tricks than Arse Daniels but takes penalties like Debbie Mcghee. Great touch, great technique, picks out a pass or two also. Doesn’t mind to track back to help the defence. (Danny Moore take note!!)
Lewis ‘TRIPOD’ Burgis………. CRISTIANO RONALDO ESQ. Great left foot, great in the air and is always going to be good for 20 goals a season and to bed as many girls in a season. Can adapt to left back if required and wont back down from a challenge. Been known to make many pikey girls from ‘The Howe’ slack indefanately.
Bob ‘THE BODY’ Fox………. RUEL FOX ESQ. Lightening fast with the ball, even quicker between the sheets (Thanks Sarah!!) Looks liken the Coco-pops Monkey but is defiantely King of our jungle. ‘ONE TO WATCH’
Warren ‘WAZZA’ DOYLE………. MIKEL ARTETA ESQ. If every man was like Wazza the worl would be a better place to live. Awesome touch, awesome crosses, awesome player. Fake scouse accent. Hes a player for the big occasions. Watch out ladies he’s known to us as the ‘rear door’ enforcer.
Sammy ‘TATTOO’ Doe……….AARON LENNON ESQ. More tattoo’s than Tommy Lee Jones, less class than Pete Doherty. Quick and agile who pops up with a goal too.
Matt ‘RODNEY’ Groves………. AGBONLAHOR ESQ. Quick…………………………………..and sometimes good.
Mark ‘TAKE MY BREATH AWAY’ Downes-yndrome……… STEVE CLARIDGE 108 years old and still banging them in for fun. HOT GIRLFRIEND… But still refuses to wash his pants. We’ll give you £50 if you win more than two headers against this guy.
Adam ‘BUZZ’ Light………. SHEARER ESQ. Pace, Strength, heading this hunk has got everything including chlamydia (Thanks Lyndsy!) Works hard and scores loads. Great player. But does have to practice SPOT against the wall every Monday, Wednseday and Friday between 6pm-7pm to make sure his finsihing doesn’t get too irratic.
Simon ‘SCOOP’ Ward……… KANU ESQ. Long-legged 6ft 3 attacker, who can get the ball down and manipulate any defence. Good new signing for the Heather, who can play anywhere across the Midfield and Up Top if required. Transferred from the dark side of Ferndown to the Hunky Side. The worst drunk I have ever meet though, don’t ever feed him vodka, its like Spinach for Popeye but in reverse!!!
Christian ‘SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PRO’ Hillman….. BERGKAMP ESQ. Only plays 5 games a season but sheer class in every one. His nickname says it all. A Bernie Hallam prodigy.
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The Animal
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 46 Location: Pergatory Karma: 12
The Daily Echo.......???????? « Result #7 on Sept 30, 2008, 2:13pm »
DIVISION THREE
MANAGER Richard Cowley, coming back out of retirement, was just what White Heather Hornets needed to revive their flagging fortunes and they responded by trouncing Three Cross 10-1 courtesy of Adam Light (2), Luke Ayrton (2), Lewis Burgis (2), Rich Maidment, Simon Ward, Craig Marchant and an own goal.
Re: This Season???????????????? « Result #8 on Sept 11, 2008, 4:35pm »
Hang about i was only informed that some idiot had been on this thing pretending to me again last night at Littledown.
For the final time i have nothing against the Heather i wish them all the luck in the world. You have some great lads playing for you, people like Cunnie, Foxy, Luke, Mooreo etc.
Yes i was watching the second half becuase i was subbed off after 70 minutes as i was knackered from the game i played on Saturday and i was seriously hungover, no crime there, its only Sunday football and when you arent having a good day let someone else try, its only fair.
So whoever you are trying to be me and spelling my name completely wrong, please stop as its boring.
All the best to the Heather for the rest of the Season.
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